Hi girls! Starting Monday, June 1st posting will resume. Sorry for the delay!

A Short Break

Tomorrow afternoon my sister and I are heading up to Maryland to visit with some family and then attending a conference called “NEXT” (formerly known as New Attitude). I am very excited to what God has in store and can’t wait to hear the preaching! Please be praying that God will meet myself and all the others going to the conference in a mighty way!

I will not be posting on this blog while I’m away, but might post a picture or two on my other blog, so feel free to check it out!

Girls, know that you’re all on my heart and I’m praying for you! While taking a short break, please feel free to e-mail me with suggestions on what you’d like me to discuss once I return home---Beautiful.adornment@gmail.com

Psalm 37:3-5- “Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act.”

Submitting to Our Fathers

***Before we begin today, I want to strongly encourage you girls to listen to a message posted today on girl talk titled, “A Modest Heart” by Janelle Bradshaw. It’s about 30 minutes long…I was able to listen to it today while I was cleaning. What are you doing today? Turn up the speakers and listen to this excellent message!

I don’t know about you, but there have been many times that I’ve foolishly thought that cultivating a heart of a Proverbs 31 woman is going to happen immediately on the day I become a wife and mother. I have come to realize through many examples and teaching that cultivating this heart is something that takes a lot of practice! Though I’m still in a season of singleness and am not a wife or mother yet, I do believe that as a daughter I am called to be a portrait of some of the roles that the Proverbs 31 woman displayed. Not in the way I will serve and relate to my future husband or children, but in the ways I relate to my dad as his daughter.

The Bible teaches in Ephesians 5 that wives are to submit to their husbands, as to the Lord and in Ephesians 6 it teaches that children are to obey their parents in the Lord. I believe our call as daughters is to submit to our fathers and obey all that they ask of us until (Lord willing) they hand us off to our future husbands. Just as we are to obey the commandments that God has set out for His children, we are to submit to and obey our fathers. Carolyn Mahaney writes, “We read that the woman was created to be her husband’s helper; (Genesis 2:18) then in 1 Corinthians 11:9 Paul writes that man was not created for woman, but woman for man. In Titus 2 we find that the list of instructions for the younger woman begins and ends with their relationship to their husbands. Proverbs 31:12 states, “She does him good and not harm, all the days of her life. And you do not know what the Lord has planned for your future. Your doing good to your husband could be the very means God uses to soften his heart toward you and toward Himself.”

Everywhere the word “husband” was inserted I believe that the word “father” could be there as well. God has ordained that fathers are to be the head of the family just as Christ is the head of the Church. (Ephesians 5:23) Personally in my life, my dad has ALWAYS know what was/is best for me. Even though I don’t always realize it, in the end he is always right!

Here are the top three things that I try to remember as a daughter when striving to serve and submit my dad:

1. HELP my Proverbs 31 mom in all her daily tasks of serving my dad and family
2. COMMUNICATE to him that I respect and honor him
3. LISTEN when he gives instruction because he always knows what’s best

Scripture

Today, I would like to encourage you to take some time to read through different scripture verses on children obeying/being submissive to their parents. If you're a little shocked at what you read, take some time after to pray and ask God to open up your eyes to see where you’ve been sinning against God and your parents.

Proverbs 20:20- “If anyone curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.”

Proverbs 30:17- “The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.”

Continue looking at God’s plan for the family by reading Ephesians 6:1-4 and Colossians 3:18-21. List the instructions given to each family member. Did you find yourself here? And are you demonstrating a heart devoted to God by obeying God’s instructions to you, or do you need to make some changes? What changes?

Please take some time to look up following scripture verses. What do they teach you about Jesus’ submission to His Father’s will?

Matthew 26:39
Matthew 26:42
John 4:34
John 6:38
John 15:10
Hebrews 10:7

Again, what do you learn from Jesus’ example?

Submitting to Our Parents

Our home and our relationships there are the training ground for submission to all others, including our future submission to our future husbands (Ephesians 5:22).

Elizabeth George says, “Submission is a challenge straight from God to you. It’s a measure of your spiritual maturity. Why? Because no one can make you submit to anyone else. You must choose to do it yourself. Your parents can’t make you, your friends can’t make you, and your youth leader can’t make you. No, you have to decide yourself to submit to your parents. And here’s the shocker—If you aren’t submitting to your parents now, you aren’t submitting to God, and you’ll probably have trouble fulfilling God’s desire for you to submit to your future husband’s leadership. That’s pretty far reaching, isn’t it?”

Next week we’ll dive a little bit deeper into submission. Have a wonderful weekend!

Honoring Your Parents Part 3

Today let’s look at a few more of the little things we can do to train ourselves in the heart and art of submission.

-Your cooperation: Have you ever been in a play, danced in a dance recital, or played on a sports team? As you well know, everyone had to cooperate to make the show the best performance it could be. You all had to be a team, right?

Well, it’s the same way in a family. There are a couple things that God has asked of family’s—to live together in unity (Psalm 133:1) and to glorify God in all things (1 Corinthians 10:31). So here’s how it goes—everything your parents ask you to do, you do with no hesitation. There should never be any room for arguing, and you know what? God rewards a cheerful and obedient heart!

-Your help: Everyone on the face of this earth loves to hear the four little words—“how can I help?” So I encourage you at home and with your parents and family members to constantly be asking, “How can I help?” Because after all “two are always better than one” (Ecclesiastes 4:9)

-Pray, pray, pray: I cannot emphasize too much on the importance of prayer. It is something that we should be doing all day long—every spare moment we can. If you see your parents struggling with something, pray for them. If they haven’t been getting along with each other, pray for them. If they are stressed, pray for them. We can never pray too much for our parents!

We need to be praying for ourselves too. If you think you don’t like your parents, pray for yourself. If you think what they are asking of you is unfair, pray for yourself. If you think your parents are too strict, pray for yourself.

What should we be asking God? You should pray that He will soften your heart and help you change your attitude, give you help by His grace, ask Him to give you a greater appreciation for your parents, to help you to submit, honor and respect them. Ask God to work not only in your parent’s hearts, but in yours as well.

Honoring Your Parents Part 2

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” (Colossians 3:20)

Most of the time a heart that submits boils down to paying attention to the little things. What are some of these little things?

-Your Attitude: Your attitude has to do with your moods. And your moods can be right and godly, or they can be sinful. Stop for a minute and think about your attitude. Is it generally cheerful, energetic, helpful, positive, giving, and respectful? Or do you tend to mope around, grunt and grumble, resent your parents, your family, and your responsibilities? Do you seem to be stomping through your days with an irritable attitude?

We need a huge attitude adjustment each and every day. It is crucial to spend time in the Word every morning to prepare our hearts for our day ahead. If we fail to have this all important time with God, we are doomed for the day. And so is everyone else! They better beware, give us a wide path, and stay out of our way! Right?

-Your Room: Have you ever thought about the fact that your room is part of your parents home? Yes, you’re responsible for it, but it’s not yours—it’s theirs (and ultimately God’s). We can honor our parents as we honor their property? Whatever your parents are asking of you in terms of neatness, cleanliness, noise, rules, etc. go the extra mile and do it better, with a cheerful spirit. Just like Jesus said, “If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.” (Matthew 5:41)

A Heart Check:

1. How would you describe your general attitude around the house? (How do you think your parents would describe it? Your brothers and sisters?)
2. After answering question #1, what specific changes are you going to make?
3. Is there something, anything you can do right this minute to take care of your room? Anything you’ve been neglecting, putting off, or just plain ol’ rebelling against doing? Honor your parents by doing it now!

Honoring Your Parents Part 1

Most of you are aware of God’s commandments. They were spoken by God to Moses, who delivered them to God’s people. They weren’t God’s Ten Suggestions. No, they were God’s Ten Commandments, and one of those commandments states this:

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving to you.” (Exodus 20:12)

If we desire to honor God and become ones after His own heart, then we must be one’s that follow His commandments and do everything He calls us to do. So dear hearts, you and I are going to honor our fathers and mothers as long as they are alive. It’s one of God’s forever commandments!

Maybe you’re wondering, “What then does it mean to honor my parents?”

Elizabeth George explains it this way, “What does it mean to ‘honor’ parents? Partly, ‘honoring’ means speaking well of them and politely to them. It also means acting in a way that shows them courtesy and respect (but we are not to follow them in acts of disobedience to God). Parents have a special place in God’s sight. Even those who find it difficult to get along with their parents are still commanded to honor them.”

Therefore, to honor your parents as the first commandment states, you also need to obey your parents. It may not always be easy, but such obedience calls for us to have humble hearts...”You, who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (1 Peter 5:5)

Not only are children commanded to obey their parents, but there are also commands in the Bible for parents as it pertains to their relationship with their children, for example:

-Parents are commanded by God to teach their children (Deuteronomy 6:7)
-Parents are commanded by God to train their children (Ephesians 6:4)
-Parents are commanded by God to discipline and correct their children (Hebrews 12:7)

When parents discipline it proves their love. When I was younger there were many occasions (in my own sin) I didn’t feel much love, but the Bible says, when a child is left to himself, that child is not loved and will ultimately become heartache to his or her parents.

Check back tomorrow for more on honoring our parents.

Modesty Resources

Below, I've included some excellent resources. Take some time to either listen or read through them. They are all very helpful!

-“The Look: Does God Really Care What I Wear?” By Nancy Leigh
-“The Soul of Modesty” Mp3 Download by C.J. Mahaney
-“Modesty Checklist” This checklist was created by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters. It is outstanding! Please take some time to go over it with your mom. Maybe it’s time to replace a few items in your closet? Be sure to listen to the advice your mom gives! Be humble! She’s trying to help you! Hang one up in your room (or two if needed.) Prime spots would be: by your bedroom or closet door and on the mirror in your bathroom. You could even post on your wall something as simple as an “Am I dressed modest?” sign. Be sure to go over the modesty checklist every time you step foot outside of your bedroom.

Girls, if you desire to glorify God and protect the eyes of your brothers in Christ, than you should desire to have a modest heart. If dressing immodestly has been a struggle for you, invite people in your life to help you (Mom, dad, sister, brother, or a close friend). God is the first person you should go to! Simply ask Him to help you flee worldly passions and fight to do what is right.

Maybe you still don’t understand the importance of dressing modestly? Well, why don’t you take some time and go over the past five posts again. God is ready and willing to help you!

1. Adorned in Modesty
2. A Humble-Modest Heart
3. Shopping Trips and My Heart
4. Modesty and Self-Control
5. Serving with Willing Hands

Tomorrow we'll begin talking about cultivating a heart that's obedient and submissive.

Serving with Willing Hands

In 1 Timothy 2 Paul also addresses the church beyond a woman’s apparel. He says in verse 10 that “women should adorn themselves…..with what is proper for women who profess godliness- with good works.”

“Good works” are to be what’s most noticeable about a woman who professes godliness. Not our wardrobes, but our good works—an observable lifestyle of serving others. This I believe is the appropriate adornment for women who profess to be Christians. And it is an evidence of the transforming effect of the gospel. It may mean more time sacrificing on behalf of our families and local church.

Janelle Bradshaw writes, “Bringing up children, showing hospitality, caring for the afflicted—these aren’t things the godly woman does one time, like a community service requirement. Good works are what she is giving her life, energy, time, and heart to. Good works are what she is all about.”

Doing good works may mean less applying make-up, styling hair, choosing clothing, and it may mean more time sacrificing on behalf of your family and local church. Our modest clothing can attest to the fact that the gospel has changed out lives. There are opportunities to do good works all around us- in our homes, churches, and communities.

Are good works what you’re all about? Let me encourage you to take a step back and look at all the ways you’ve been serving or where you need to pick up the slack. Please take some time to pray and specifically ask God where He would use you to serve. What are your giftings? ---working with children, organization, administrative skills, decorating, planning events, are you musically gifted? We need to be willing and ready to serve and that may mean doing some work within our hearts first. Writing things out always helps me. Is there a family you know in need of a babysitter or a mom who needs an afternoon off? It doesn’t take much time… Let’s think and then take action! Let us not wait! Let’s seek every opportunity we can to do good works!

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

Application Questions:
1. What are you consumed with- your clothing or your character?
2. What are you most noticed for- what you wear or your kind deeds?
3. Does your life reflect an observable lifestyle of serving others?

Modesty and Self-Control

“Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control.” (1 Timothy 2:9)

All respectable apparel is the result of a godly heart, where modesty and self-control originate. Our wardrobes are a public statement of our personal motivation and convictions. If we have a desire to profess godliness, we should be concerned about cultivating the virtues of modesty and self-control. Our adorning should be: “the hidden person of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. (1 Peter 3:4)”

Today, please take some time to read thought the following quote by C.J. Mahaney. Take some time to evaluate your heart and answer the challenging questions he asks:

“Self-control is, in a word, restraint. Restraint for the purpose of purity; restraint for the purpose of exalting God and not ourselves. Together, these attitudes of modesty and self-control should be the hallmark of the godly woman’s dress. What is the intent of your heart in purchasing clothes to wear? Does a humble heart and a servant’s heart dictate your wardrobe and appearance? Is your shopping informed and governed by modesty and restraint? Or is your dress motivated by a desire for attention and approval from others? Does your style reflect a lack of self-control? There’s an inseparable link between your heart and your clothes. Your clothes say something about your attitude. If they don’t express a heart that is humble, that desires to please God, that longs to serve others, that’s modest, that exercises self-control, then change must begin in the heart.”

Shopping Trips and My Heart

While it may seem harmless in today’s culture, dressing immodestly is selfish and unloving toward our brothers in Christ. Instead of seeking to serve them by dressing modestly, we are serving ourselves because a lot of time we are craving their attention.

Nicole Whitacre explains it this way, “Modesty is of great importance because it honors God. But it also protects our brothers in Christ from sin. Women are sometimes ignorant of the effect of their bodies on the eyes of men. But for the most part, if we’re honest, we’ll admit we know exactly what we’re doing. As a pastor-friend of ours once said, “guy’s lust and girls want to be lusted after.’”

Growing up, my dad made it clear to all his daughters that immodest dress was not exceptable, simply for the sake of guarding the hearts of our brother’s in Christ. There were numerous shopping days spent at the mall only to result in needing to return quite a few items we came home with. Yes, at times, it was frustrating, but today I am filled with much gratitude for my parents raising me to fear the Lord and protect the eyes of my brothers in Christ.

Richard Baxter so aptly put it, “You must not lay a stumbling-block in their way, nor blow up the fire of their lust…You must walk among sinful persons, as you would do with a candle among straw or gunpowder; or else you may see the flame which you did not foresee, when it is too late to quench it.”

A young lady, named Lauren Eddy has shared what she’s decided to do when shopping for clothes, “I have to say that I hate annual shopping trips right before summer. It is something that I dread! I do struggle with self confidence and the way I look. I have for quite sometime. Not being able to find a swim suit, shorts, t-shirts and many other items that fit correctly has been frustrating! I have learned to trust in God that I will find things that are modest and that fit, all the more to glorify him.”

We need to remember that every time we leave our homes and step foot in a mall that God is already aware of what we’ll find and what we’ll be taking back home with us. You are not alone in the battle to find modest clothing! God walks with you every step of the way and He is glorified in your desire to protect your brothers in Christ by dressing modestly. Praying before shopping is always helpful for me. First, start off by thanking God for all He has provided in previous shopping trips, and then ask Him for help-help to trust Him and a continued desire to glorify God in the clothes you wear. There is no shopping trip that is un-successful when God is the center of your attention! “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his (or her) steps” (Proverbs 16:9)

As Christian women in the church, we can be either a blessing or distraction to our brothers in Christ. C.J. Mahaney shares that “Godly men find modest women attractive. They appreciate women who dress with self-control and restraint. They’re grateful for women who help them fight the temptation to lust.” Though you may not always see or hear it from them, there are numerous young men that are extremely grateful for your pursuit to dress modestly.

Today let’s ask:

What’s most eye-catching about me- my clothing or my character?

A Humble-Modest Heart

“Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.” (1 Timothy 2:9)

What kind of clothes proceed from a humble, modest heart?

“Adorning ourselves with ‘respectable apparel’ doesn’t mean we need to raid our grandmother’s closet. Paul is instructing women to stay away from clothing and accessories that are extravagant, showy, revealing, or sexually enticing. He is encouraging restraint and moderation in dress for the purpose of purity.” –Nicole Whitacre

As we learned last week out of 1 Peter 3:3-4- God tells us that it’s our inward beauty that is more important than our clothing and appearance. Paul is definitely not saying it’s wrong to look nice! He is saying that women need to make sure our outer beauty reflects that God is in our hearts. Elizabeth George says, “A woman cannot claim to fear God and yet disregard what God says about her behavior, appearance, and her ministry.”

We are not to distract others from worshipping God. As C.J. Mahaney has observed “He (Paul) wants the Savior, not seductive style clothing to be the focus of the Church gathering—and indeed the focus of all life. So the real issue wasn’t really braided hair or gold, or pearls, of costly attire. The issue was—and is—clothing that associates with worldly and ungodly values. Clothes that say: ‘look at me’ and ‘I’m with the world.’”

Paul is not prohibiting woman from enhancing their appearance—In fact there are places in scripture where godly woman wore fine clothing and jewelry. For example, the Proverbs 31 woman dressed in colorful and high quality clothing. (Proverbs 31:22)

This might all still be a little new to you. Let me encourage you to ask God to open the eyes of your heart to see where you’ve been failing to glorify God in your wardrobes and ask yourself the question:

What conclusions can I draw and what changes can I make regarding my appearance?

For further study:
-Chapter five from the book “Worldliness” by C.J. Mahaney- “God, My Heart, and Clothes”

Adorned in Modesty

Is modesty a new word for you? Maybe you’ve had a vague idea growing up that modesty is “ugly” or “out of style.” Maybe before now it’s never occurred to you that God has something to say about the clothes you wear. Well, hopefully this week will be helpful for you as we uncover the quality of biblical womanhood and why modesty is so important.

“I desire then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarrelling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.” (Timothy 2:8-10)

Here Paul is addressing that women in the church should not look exactly like the ungodly women in the world. Women in the church are to be different: a light to unbelievers. They should stand out not because of their revealing clothing, but because of their modest heart and dress. As women we are called to dress in a way that is not “distracting” to men in their pursuit to grow in godliness.

Immodesty is more than wearing a short skirt or low cut shirt. Immodesty reveals pride in our hearts, the opposite of humility.

Pastor John MacArthur Says:

“How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? It is to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God? Or is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty? Or worse, to attempt to lure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshipping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance.”

Our wardrobes are a public statement of where our hearts are. So what kind of clothes come from a humble modest heart? ...Tomorrow we’ll find out!

Extreme Heart Makeover

A loving God has determined what we look like. He decided how tall we would be, the color of our eyes, and all the unique features that make up our appearance. We can spend the rest of our lives complaining about the results of God’s determination, or we can receive with gratefulness His design, knowing that He does all things for His glory and our good.

David said, “I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:14). When was the last time you worshipped God for the way He created your body? Anything less than a heart filled with gratitude and praise to God for our physical appearance is sinful and grieves the Lord.

“We must not simply reject the world’s view of beauty, but we must also pursue true beauty as defined by the Bible: the inward beauty of the heart. And this beauty has some serious advantages over the world’s beauty. It lasts longer, works better, and is pleasing to the one whose opinion matters most. So instead of an extreme body makeover, maybe it’s time for an extreme heart makeover. Let’s pursue the feminine beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.”
–Carolyn Mahaney

The woman who follows God’s beauty regimen will truly become beautiful!

For further Study:
-"True Beauty" MP3 dowload by Carolyn Mahaney