Modesty Resources

Below, I've included some excellent resources. Take some time to either listen or read through them. They are all very helpful!

-“The Look: Does God Really Care What I Wear?” By Nancy Leigh
-“The Soul of Modesty” Mp3 Download by C.J. Mahaney
-“Modesty Checklist” This checklist was created by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters. It is outstanding! Please take some time to go over it with your mom. Maybe it’s time to replace a few items in your closet? Be sure to listen to the advice your mom gives! Be humble! She’s trying to help you! Hang one up in your room (or two if needed.) Prime spots would be: by your bedroom or closet door and on the mirror in your bathroom. You could even post on your wall something as simple as an “Am I dressed modest?” sign. Be sure to go over the modesty checklist every time you step foot outside of your bedroom.

Girls, if you desire to glorify God and protect the eyes of your brothers in Christ, than you should desire to have a modest heart. If dressing immodestly has been a struggle for you, invite people in your life to help you (Mom, dad, sister, brother, or a close friend). God is the first person you should go to! Simply ask Him to help you flee worldly passions and fight to do what is right.

Maybe you still don’t understand the importance of dressing modestly? Well, why don’t you take some time and go over the past five posts again. God is ready and willing to help you!

1. Adorned in Modesty
2. A Humble-Modest Heart
3. Shopping Trips and My Heart
4. Modesty and Self-Control
5. Serving with Willing Hands

Tomorrow we'll begin talking about cultivating a heart that's obedient and submissive.

Serving with Willing Hands

In 1 Timothy 2 Paul also addresses the church beyond a woman’s apparel. He says in verse 10 that “women should adorn themselves…..with what is proper for women who profess godliness- with good works.”

“Good works” are to be what’s most noticeable about a woman who professes godliness. Not our wardrobes, but our good works—an observable lifestyle of serving others. This I believe is the appropriate adornment for women who profess to be Christians. And it is an evidence of the transforming effect of the gospel. It may mean more time sacrificing on behalf of our families and local church.

Janelle Bradshaw writes, “Bringing up children, showing hospitality, caring for the afflicted—these aren’t things the godly woman does one time, like a community service requirement. Good works are what she is giving her life, energy, time, and heart to. Good works are what she is all about.”

Doing good works may mean less applying make-up, styling hair, choosing clothing, and it may mean more time sacrificing on behalf of your family and local church. Our modest clothing can attest to the fact that the gospel has changed out lives. There are opportunities to do good works all around us- in our homes, churches, and communities.

Are good works what you’re all about? Let me encourage you to take a step back and look at all the ways you’ve been serving or where you need to pick up the slack. Please take some time to pray and specifically ask God where He would use you to serve. What are your giftings? ---working with children, organization, administrative skills, decorating, planning events, are you musically gifted? We need to be willing and ready to serve and that may mean doing some work within our hearts first. Writing things out always helps me. Is there a family you know in need of a babysitter or a mom who needs an afternoon off? It doesn’t take much time… Let’s think and then take action! Let us not wait! Let’s seek every opportunity we can to do good works!

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

Application Questions:
1. What are you consumed with- your clothing or your character?
2. What are you most noticed for- what you wear or your kind deeds?
3. Does your life reflect an observable lifestyle of serving others?

Modesty and Self-Control

“Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control.” (1 Timothy 2:9)

All respectable apparel is the result of a godly heart, where modesty and self-control originate. Our wardrobes are a public statement of our personal motivation and convictions. If we have a desire to profess godliness, we should be concerned about cultivating the virtues of modesty and self-control. Our adorning should be: “the hidden person of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. (1 Peter 3:4)”

Today, please take some time to read thought the following quote by C.J. Mahaney. Take some time to evaluate your heart and answer the challenging questions he asks:

“Self-control is, in a word, restraint. Restraint for the purpose of purity; restraint for the purpose of exalting God and not ourselves. Together, these attitudes of modesty and self-control should be the hallmark of the godly woman’s dress. What is the intent of your heart in purchasing clothes to wear? Does a humble heart and a servant’s heart dictate your wardrobe and appearance? Is your shopping informed and governed by modesty and restraint? Or is your dress motivated by a desire for attention and approval from others? Does your style reflect a lack of self-control? There’s an inseparable link between your heart and your clothes. Your clothes say something about your attitude. If they don’t express a heart that is humble, that desires to please God, that longs to serve others, that’s modest, that exercises self-control, then change must begin in the heart.”

Shopping Trips and My Heart

While it may seem harmless in today’s culture, dressing immodestly is selfish and unloving toward our brothers in Christ. Instead of seeking to serve them by dressing modestly, we are serving ourselves because a lot of time we are craving their attention.

Nicole Whitacre explains it this way, “Modesty is of great importance because it honors God. But it also protects our brothers in Christ from sin. Women are sometimes ignorant of the effect of their bodies on the eyes of men. But for the most part, if we’re honest, we’ll admit we know exactly what we’re doing. As a pastor-friend of ours once said, “guy’s lust and girls want to be lusted after.’”

Growing up, my dad made it clear to all his daughters that immodest dress was not exceptable, simply for the sake of guarding the hearts of our brother’s in Christ. There were numerous shopping days spent at the mall only to result in needing to return quite a few items we came home with. Yes, at times, it was frustrating, but today I am filled with much gratitude for my parents raising me to fear the Lord and protect the eyes of my brothers in Christ.

Richard Baxter so aptly put it, “You must not lay a stumbling-block in their way, nor blow up the fire of their lust…You must walk among sinful persons, as you would do with a candle among straw or gunpowder; or else you may see the flame which you did not foresee, when it is too late to quench it.”

A young lady, named Lauren Eddy has shared what she’s decided to do when shopping for clothes, “I have to say that I hate annual shopping trips right before summer. It is something that I dread! I do struggle with self confidence and the way I look. I have for quite sometime. Not being able to find a swim suit, shorts, t-shirts and many other items that fit correctly has been frustrating! I have learned to trust in God that I will find things that are modest and that fit, all the more to glorify him.”

We need to remember that every time we leave our homes and step foot in a mall that God is already aware of what we’ll find and what we’ll be taking back home with us. You are not alone in the battle to find modest clothing! God walks with you every step of the way and He is glorified in your desire to protect your brothers in Christ by dressing modestly. Praying before shopping is always helpful for me. First, start off by thanking God for all He has provided in previous shopping trips, and then ask Him for help-help to trust Him and a continued desire to glorify God in the clothes you wear. There is no shopping trip that is un-successful when God is the center of your attention! “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his (or her) steps” (Proverbs 16:9)

As Christian women in the church, we can be either a blessing or distraction to our brothers in Christ. C.J. Mahaney shares that “Godly men find modest women attractive. They appreciate women who dress with self-control and restraint. They’re grateful for women who help them fight the temptation to lust.” Though you may not always see or hear it from them, there are numerous young men that are extremely grateful for your pursuit to dress modestly.

Today let’s ask:

What’s most eye-catching about me- my clothing or my character?

A Humble-Modest Heart

“Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.” (1 Timothy 2:9)

What kind of clothes proceed from a humble, modest heart?

“Adorning ourselves with ‘respectable apparel’ doesn’t mean we need to raid our grandmother’s closet. Paul is instructing women to stay away from clothing and accessories that are extravagant, showy, revealing, or sexually enticing. He is encouraging restraint and moderation in dress for the purpose of purity.” –Nicole Whitacre

As we learned last week out of 1 Peter 3:3-4- God tells us that it’s our inward beauty that is more important than our clothing and appearance. Paul is definitely not saying it’s wrong to look nice! He is saying that women need to make sure our outer beauty reflects that God is in our hearts. Elizabeth George says, “A woman cannot claim to fear God and yet disregard what God says about her behavior, appearance, and her ministry.”

We are not to distract others from worshipping God. As C.J. Mahaney has observed “He (Paul) wants the Savior, not seductive style clothing to be the focus of the Church gathering—and indeed the focus of all life. So the real issue wasn’t really braided hair or gold, or pearls, of costly attire. The issue was—and is—clothing that associates with worldly and ungodly values. Clothes that say: ‘look at me’ and ‘I’m with the world.’”

Paul is not prohibiting woman from enhancing their appearance—In fact there are places in scripture where godly woman wore fine clothing and jewelry. For example, the Proverbs 31 woman dressed in colorful and high quality clothing. (Proverbs 31:22)

This might all still be a little new to you. Let me encourage you to ask God to open the eyes of your heart to see where you’ve been failing to glorify God in your wardrobes and ask yourself the question:

What conclusions can I draw and what changes can I make regarding my appearance?

For further study:
-Chapter five from the book “Worldliness” by C.J. Mahaney- “God, My Heart, and Clothes”

Adorned in Modesty

Is modesty a new word for you? Maybe you’ve had a vague idea growing up that modesty is “ugly” or “out of style.” Maybe before now it’s never occurred to you that God has something to say about the clothes you wear. Well, hopefully this week will be helpful for you as we uncover the quality of biblical womanhood and why modesty is so important.

“I desire then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarrelling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.” (Timothy 2:8-10)

Here Paul is addressing that women in the church should not look exactly like the ungodly women in the world. Women in the church are to be different: a light to unbelievers. They should stand out not because of their revealing clothing, but because of their modest heart and dress. As women we are called to dress in a way that is not “distracting” to men in their pursuit to grow in godliness.

Immodesty is more than wearing a short skirt or low cut shirt. Immodesty reveals pride in our hearts, the opposite of humility.

Pastor John MacArthur Says:

“How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? It is to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God? Or is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty? Or worse, to attempt to lure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshipping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance.”

Our wardrobes are a public statement of where our hearts are. So what kind of clothes come from a humble modest heart? ...Tomorrow we’ll find out!