The Fourth Tip: Consider People

As girls, we are by nature, relational characters. Our world is primarily centered around our family and friends. Yet, we are often passive and receptive than we are intentional and purposeful in our relationships. We may allow people to drift in and out of our lives. We don’t usually stop to consider why we pursue a certain friendship or neglect another. Emotions and feelings often dictate the way we go about relationships.

Let's ask, "Do our relationships—the time we spend with our family and the friends we pursue—bring glory to God?"

Maybe you’re wondering, “How do I go about evaluating my relationships? What criteria do I use?” Thankfully, once again God’s Word provides clarity. We are exhorted to be intentional. Proverbs 12:26 tells us that: “The righteous should choose his friends carefully” (NKJV). So what kind of friends should we choose? Let’s briefly fly over Scripture to discover which friends (in addition to family, of course) should be on our list.

Note: All the following tips and descriptions were collected from the book “Shopping for Time.”

1. Friends who sharpen.
Our idea of a first-rate friend might be someone who’s easy to get along with, laughs at the same movie lines, shares our opinions on fashion and food, can finish our sentences, sticks by us in the rough going, and is free to hang out on a Friday night. Those are all great things, but in Scripture there is a friend quality of much greater value. Actually, it’s one we can’t afford to do without. The best kind of friend, according to Proverbs 27:17, is one who sharpens us as “iron sharpens iron” (NKJV). We need to have at least one—and preferably many—friends who inspire us to serve, provoke us to love, help us grow in godliness, correct us, strengthen our faith, and spur us on to passion for the Savior. So do any “sharpening” friends appear on your friends list? If not, we need to find some—and fast!

2. Friends who mentor.
As young women, we should ask ourselves: “Do I have a friend from whom I am learning some aspect of biblical womanhood?” If you have a godly mom, she’s to be your mentor. For the rest of us younger women, lets ask a mature woman in our church to teach us what she know about caring for the home, or glorifying God in the workplace, or walking in purity. A friend who mentors us deserves a prominent spot on our relationship list. Read through Titus 2:3-5 to get a better understanding

3. Friends who need friends.
It’s so easy, isn’t it, to get comfortable with our close friends, the gang, the group—dare we say it, the clique? While long time friends are a significant blessing from the Lord, we are also called to reach out to the new person. “Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers” exhorts Hebrews 13:1-2. Remember what it was like when you were new? To see other women chatting excitedly and to have no one to talk to? So let’s take a look around us: “Who is one new friend I should add to my list? And how can I reach out to her?”

4. Friends who need Salvation.
One of the ways we can make the best use of our time is by wise conduct around unbelievers. Often it is very easy for us to get consumed by our school, our work, or our responsibilities at home that we neglect the responsibility of evangelism. “Walk in wisdom toward others, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:5-6)